I'm not feeling well now, physically and mentally. It's not my day today.

I did not feel well last night actually, having really bad headache, and woke up from a nightmare, in which I met our old little white dog. He had got lost for about 6 months in real life; we could do nothing but wishing that it's just someone loved him very much and could not help stealing him from us. But in that dream I met him again, he ran toward me barking happily ... and suddenly he collapsed. With a heartbreaking scream he threw up, my face and chest were splashed with his blood.

I was too scared that I couldn't even scream, waking up at about 3 a.m. feeling my heart racing, nose running and the pillow got wet with my tears. I felt that my chest was pressed somehow and start to count my own heartbeats, which was like 100 per minute. I rested for 20 minutes and it didn't go slower; I went back sleeping again in extremely bad mood.

Then this afternoon. We started our first online training course. It was about the electronic system of banking. I knew it was really important but owing to my stupid fever (I guess so) and the 15-degree air-conditioning (I swear so!) I kept on dozzing off, which is the most unfavorable thing that I tried deadly hard to avoid since coming here.

I got laughed at by one of my teammate, who said, " well, it seems that you just had a nice nap!"

It's not humorous at all, at least at that time. I cannot even make a nurdy smile.

Then just now, I've been back from the WORST EVER COURSE we've been taking here. A class filled with things we've been taught for at least 3 times. And all people spent more than 3 hours listening foolishly!

I felt that I'm abandoned by the whole world. Ones who I care about most don't even remember to give me a call asking me if I'm ok today. And now it's not ok for me to keep on complaining here because my teammates and I are going to do the "Latest News Summary Presentation" tomorrow morning - so that we've got to be there at 6:30, fully dressed with perfect makeup. What's better, I've got to pack, because we're checking off at 7 in the morning!

I knew I've just said yesterday that I'm not going to keep on complaining but I've got to keep on complaining just for today because I cannot find my meaning of life via all these .... forget it, I don't want to put any 4 letter words on my blog.

Thank God it's Friday tomorrow, I'm going to kill someone or else.

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